Be Happy

My little one already helps me with my pet sitting business.  I’ve been bringing her along with me ever since she was born.  I notice now whenever we go to Trader Joe’s our friend Ms. Patty lets her scan our groceries.  I cannot think of another place where that would be acceptable, and it is another reason why I love both Ms. Patty and Trader Joe’s.  Instead of being just a passive observer she is made an active participant, and you can see how proud she is to be assisting.  I want my girl to know the value of money and that for most it takes hard work to earn it.  I learned from an early age that work for some was a joy but work for others could be incredibly difficult.  Not everyone is lucky enough to find their dream job but everyone requires money to live.  Even people “off the grid” need money for medical care or they might want to have money to travel.  I wish money did not seem to always equal success; for some it is just luck.  My father always taught me to work hard and do my best.  The secret to my father’s happiness is that he did not let his jobs define him.  He was always happy because he found a reason to be.  The American Christian evangelist Billy Graham said:

“The greatest legacy one can pass on to one’s children and grandchildren is not money or other material things accumulated in one’s life, but rather a legacy of character and faith.”

I hope I am showing my daughter every day to live with with character and faith … and to be happy.

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On The Porch

One of our home’s greatest joys is our screened porch.  My mother-in-law was the one who had the idea and, after I designed it, she had it built for us about the second year into our marriage.  I get jealous of the four-leggeds, though, because they have more time to enjoy it than we do.  In this picture Elgin our Bengal and Cheyenne and Dakota our wolfies are taking in the fresh air.  You’ll notice the 6’4″ “baby” has taken one of the chairs.  Frankly, I cannot believe he can squeeze himself into it.  The first day of spring seemed like a good time to post this.  And it certainly is the best time of the year to enjoy the porch.  It has ceiling fans, lights, and my beloved lucite grape lamps hanging from the ceiling over a big glass and metal table that was once Burk’s grandmother’s.  It is wonderful to go out and not get bitten by mosquitos.  I also have what I call a “mamasan” that hangs in one corner.  It’s a wicker swing complete with book and drink holders — heaven!  Our little one uses her sidewalk chalks to color on the cement floor and we have enjoyed breakfasts, lunches and dinners out there.  I also have been known to savor some Cab Sav and a good cigar from the comfort of my “mamasan” once my beloveds were asleep.  Right now the scent of our Star Jasmine is thick in the still chilly air and I can hear the water trickling from the mouth of my little lion fountain just outside the French doors.  Spending 35 years of my life in an apartment and condo, I still savor the privilege of owning a home.  I realize many think it’s a given and that’s great, but I want our little girl to understand how fortunate we are.  I can paint, I can plant, I can remodel; it is a luxury.  The American actor Ashton Kutcher said:

“True luxury is being able to own your time – to be able to take a walk, sit on your porch, read the paper, not take the call, not be compelled by obligation.”

My daddy always said time could not be replaced.  Mindful of that, I try to savor the precious time we have at home as a family — often on the porch.

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From A Distance

This would be our last day in London and we raced to squeeze in two final sights.  Burk really wanted to visit Hampton Court, as he had memories of visiting as a child.  I do not mean to keep drawing parallels between England and France, but again, this in no way could compete with the incomparable beauty of Versailles.  It was raining but I still wanted to go through the hedge maze.  It reminded me of the hay mazes they make in Texas in autumn (even better when they use tall rows of corn.)  Our little one looked very British in her tiny floral raincoat as we tried to dodge muddy puddles and make our way to the center.  Someone was good enough to take our picture so we have this as a memory.  As I have often said, my husband and I are true museum junkies.  The one exhibit he missed when we were kids and I got to see has always been my favorite:  Pompeii.  It was haunting and fascinating and has remained ingrained in my memory for almost all of my life.  My parents and I went to see it when it came to Fair Park in Dallas in the seventies.  I had always wanted to visit the Museum of London, which contains the largest urban history collection in the world.  It houses more than six million artifacts.  We already knew we could not possibly do it all and planned ahead of time what we each wanted to see most.  Choosing was exceedingly difficult.  When I discovered the Pompeii exhibit was currently on display, I told Burk we HAD to see it!  I saw the same images frozen three dimensionally in time that I remembered from so long ago plus there were new artifacts they have unearthed in the last almost thirty years.  Between the jaunt out to the palace and combing the museum, we were exhausted.  The English novelist Sarah Hall said, “You can’t see all of a place until you look at it from a distance.”  Of course we did not get to cover everything, but we gave it a good go, as they say.  Taking off on the jet the next day we looked out and got to see it all … from a distance.

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London Bridges

This next day was how I always imagined London to be.  It was rainy and grey as we made our way to the Tower Bridge.  We entered through a small side door to begin our morning tour.  King Edward II opened the majestic bridge in 1894.  It contains two massive towers linked together over the River Thames and the middle part of the bridge can be lifted to allow for the passing of huge ships.  The massive bridge stands at over 196 feet tall and 869 feet long.  It took 11,000 tons of steel to build the now famous framework.  The public is allowed to purchase tickets to tour it from the top to the bottom.  Burk and I found the exhibits interesting and informative as we crossed over the river from the inside of the bridge.  As we worked our way down to the bottom, I found the Victorian Engine Rooms to be particularly fascinating.  Huge steam engines and furnaces were once used to power the raising of the Tower Bridge’s “bascules” — the moveable roadways at the bridge’s center.  It was like stepping back in time to the early years of the Industrial Revolution.  After we left we caught a boat tour down the Thames, as rivulets of raindrops slid their way down the sides of the glassed in dome.  It occurred to me that Paris was like a beautiful woman and London like a rough man; for me there is no comparison between the exquisite delicacy of the Seine and the industrial barges of the Thames.  On our tour we saw The Shard, a 95 story skyscraper that is the tallest in the United Kingdom.  We disembarked at the London Eye, Europe’s tallest Ferris wheel.  There was a three hour wait, thanks to a group full of giggling teenagers on spring break, so we elected to skip it.  To my great delight we discovered an old carousel nearby.  They gave plastic “golden tickets” as admission and it was truly a treasure.  After that we crossed back over the Thames on the Millennium Bridge, a steel suspension bridge for pedestrians.  It was disconcerting, though, as the whole thing dipped and swayed as we crossed.  Londoners have nicknamed it the “Wobbly Bridge” because of the unexpected motion.  Our family called and asked what we were doing.  As fate would have it, we were within walking distance of their stunning hotel, which has been called London’s most famous, and they invited us to tea!  Everything was so elegant and the marble floors gleamed.  I was so proud my baby was a doll at her first proper high tea and we had a lovely time.  Afterward we went shopping in Piccadilly Circus, another place I had always read about.  It turned out to be a round open space that had different vendors and it was fun wandering in and out of the different stalls to see what they were selling.  The Academy Award-winning American actress Mary Steenburgen summed up my feelings exactly with this quote:

“My family didn’t have money to travel, so reading was how I knew about the world.  It made me hungry to have more experiences than just what I could possibly experience in Arkansas.”

This trip to London was allowing me to experience all of the things this Texan had read about for so long:  tea time, the Tower, and the London bridges.

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The Tower

Today we visited the Tower of London, a fortress situated on the bank of the River Thames.  I put a mental check mark on being able to visit another UNESCO World Heritage Site.  It was founded in 1066 as part of the Norman Conquest of England.  The White Tower was built by William the Conqueror in 1078 and was a symbol of oppression, used as a prison for centuries.  The entire complex is comprised of several buildings set within two concentric rings of defensive walls as well as a moat.  There were several phases of expansion under Kings Richard the Lionheart, Henry III, and Edward I in the 12th and 13th centuries.  The Tower has been used as an armory, a treasury, (sadly) a menagerie, and home to both the Royal Mint as well as the Crown Jewels of England.  We are pictured here standing next to our Yeoman Warder, or “Beefeater” who conducted our tour.  These men have formed the Royal Bodyguard since at least 1509.  More than ornamental tour guides, they are required to have served in the armed forces with an honorable record for at least 22 years.  These men are military veterans who still guard the tower today around the clock.  I believe I speak for all three of us when I say our favorite part of this visit was seeing the ravens.  Legend says that the kingdom and the Tower will fall if the six resident ravens ever leave the fortress.  We got to see the Raven Master feeding the seven large birds (six plus a spare) up close.  It was a treat to be so very close to them without any barriers; they ate just a few feet from us on the lawn.  I had seen plenty of crows but I did not fully realize how huge their brethren were.  They reminded me a bit of vultures.  The ravens preside over four different territories within the Tower precincts and the birds are officially enlisted as soldiers in the Army.  There are records of some being dismissed from their ‘duties’ at the Tower for unsatisfactory conduct; one had a penchant for eating television aerials.  Another kept escaping and visiting the zoo.  The English philosopher John Locke said, “Fortitude is the guard and support of the other virtues.”  I think that is a very apt description for our next stop, which was accidental, and proved to be the highlight of our trip.  We stumbled upon a little church on a bustling street corner and decided to go in.  All Hallows-by-the-Tower is an ancient Anglican church overlooking the Tower of London.  Previously dedicated to St. Mary the Virgin and founded in 675, it is one of the oldest churches in London.  Inside we discovered it contained a 7th century Anglo-Saxon arch with recycled Roman tiles — the oldest surviving piece of church fabric in the city.  The church has a free museum; the Undercroft Museum, containing portions of a Roman pavement and many other artifacts discovered below the church in 1926.  This sacred jewel was so much of what I loved all in one:  history, Christianity, AND it was the ONE CHURCH IN ALL OF LONDON we discovered that allowed pictures!  God bless them.  So it was there, in this ancient church, that I found my joy.  I knelt to pray on the exquisitely embroidered kneelers and gave thanks for the gracious welcome we received there and for the respite from the city.  Narrowly escaping the Great Fire of 1666 and surviving extensive bombing by the Germans in World War II, its 1300 years of faith shows fortitude that guards virtues surpassing that of the Tower.

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Harrod’s

This day would prove to be a huge culture shock.  Out of all the places in the world we have traveled I find it ironic that it would be England which would seem so foreign.  We started by visiting the Cathedral Church of St. Paul the Apostle, which sits on the highest point of London.  It reminded me of the white domes of Sacre Coeur overlooking Paris.  St. Paul’s dome has dominated the city’s skyline for 300 years and is among the highest in the world.  It is a working church with hourly prayer (which I loved) and daily services.  Once again pictures were forbidden.  We elected not to attempt the 550 stair ascent to the top carrying a baby.  They warned us it became very narrow and, like missing the climb to see the eaves of Notre Dame, my husband always says to leave something to want to come back for.  Next we went to have lunch at Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese, an historic pub rebuilt in 1667 after the Great Fire of 1666.  Situated in a narrow alleyway, there was a lack of natural lighting inside which lent the place a gloomy, medieval feel.  For some reason it was exactly how I pictured an old English pub to be.  The dark wooden interior had a labyrinth of passages and staircases and they served dark ales and traditional dishes like kidney pudding.  I found myself longing for the open air and pommes frites of France.  Then it was onward to Harrods — the store I had wanted to visit ever since I’d read about Christian the lion (Google it if you do not know the story; it’s great).  The department store was enormous.  Everything was also outrageously expensive.  Growing up poor in a superficial city that centers around high end shopping, I am accustomed to snobbery.  But I must say the Brits elevated it to a whole new level.  Old Texas oil money could not compete with new Saudi oil money, where one black robed woman bought a pair of $32 thousand dollar earrings without even bothering to stop shopping long enough to wait and collect them.  The startling thing was being surrounded by women in full burkas.  I had only ever seen one woman, working in a kitchen in Tangiers, wearing one.  It was unnerving to turn around and be faced with a black wall of women with only the barest of mesh slits open for their eyes.  There was a sea of them.  To be quite honest I found it frightening; the place was overrun.  Practically the only ones whose faces I could see were the employees.  How different this was from the smiling faces of the Muslim women in Paris, wearing only their colorful head scarves.  I did like the giant Harrods bears they had throughout the store on each floor.  The Roman Stoic philosopher Seneca once said, “It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.”  I was the wealthiest woman in the store that day — able to travel, free to dress as I chose, and I had my precious little girl and handsome husband with me.  I could not have dreamnt for more.  I may not have left with a lion cub, but I did buy a little bear like the giant ones lining the windows in the world famous Harrods.

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Rules

We began our next day in London by passing Britain’s most notable icons:  Big Ben, Parliament, and the Changing of the Guard at Buckingham Palace.  Our first official stop was Westminster Abbey.  My husband really wanted to see the Churchill War Rooms.  Now a museum, visitors can see the secret World War II bunker that tells the story of Winston Churchill’s life and legacy.  It was a little confining and I remember the baby was afraid of the mannequins.  I love a good gift shop though and I still have my pen that looks like a lit cigar.  The most delightful surprise came after we emerged.  We found ourselves right across from the most charming park with a pond and all sorts of breeds of ducks, geese, and pigeons we had never seen before.  St. James’ Park is at the heart of London and the oldest of the capitol’s eight Royal Parks.  Next to benches the fattest squirrels I have ever seen in my life sat waiting for food.  Given that back home Burk calls our well-fed squirrels “Blub Blubs” that is really saying something!  We had just finished lunch and I had taken the bread simply because I cannot stand to waste food and I thought the baby might like some later.  My little one who loves all animals wanted to feed our bread to the wildlife, and I was thrilled with our good luck.  One squirrel took our offering directly from our hands and it was a joyous delight.  Our girl shrieked and clapped with glee as she carefully studied the birds gathered around us.  Our favorite was a goose with pink feet.  Speaking of pink, we joined our extended family for dinner at London’s oldest restaurant, The Rules.  Opening in 1798, it has spanned the reign of nine monarchs.  I decided to have the pink cocktail favored by Princess Diana.  The venerable establishment was posh, quiet, and the median age I would say was sixty.  I must have been delusional to think I could bring our one and a half year old!  As a still new mother I had no idea what I was doing.  I did not know to bring any little toys to entertain her and I remember getting a picture of her “reading” the menu upside down.  To this day I cannot believe our little girl sat perfectly content in an old high chair for almost three hours!  She wore a little green velvet dress bordered with tiny rosettes as well as a matching hat and coat.  At some point she pulled off her little hat, smiled and clapped.  Looking back I think it was sheer insanity and bringing a baby into such a place was probably breaking the rules.  But we did it.  My husband and I still speak about that evening with an incredible amount of disbelief, nostalgia, and love.  The American athlete, actress, and fashion model Aimee Mullins said, “Life is about making your own happiness — and living by your own rules.”

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The Knowledge Of London

We arrived in London and made our way to this beautiful, charming little hotel.  Now swallowed up into a larger chain, it had a huge modern monstrosity nearby that was touted as being its sister hotel.  I did not care about the new monster hotel’s gym; we’d be doing plenty of walking.  We had no use for their indoor pool; we could swim anytime.  So this little jewel suited us perfectly.  Like a grand dame, she proudly retained her old world charm in the shadow of her younger sister large Marge.  This hotel was old school and full of history — just the way we like it.  We would have the pleasure of descending and ascending this beautiful staircase each morning and evening, coming down for breakfast and going up to bed.  Our room was just upstairs and off to the left if I recall.  No sterile elevators going up a gazillion floors, just the smooth feel of the polished balustrade’s old wood gleaming underneath our hands.  We set out to explore a little and by far the best thing I discovered about London was the cabs, which were salvation for anyone with a child in a stroller!  They all have tall, rounded roofs and a crazy amount of space!  You simply roll your pram (using my newly acquired British lingo) right on in and buckle up the entire stroller — baby and all!  No unpacking all the bags, lugging a heavy car seat, transferring a possibly sleeping little one, folding up the stroller, and then having to reverse the entire process just a short while later.  It was absolute heaven and so transformative I cannot fathom why all other countries have not followed suit.  If you do not have a child in a stroller you have tons of room and space for your bags.  It really was the greatest.  During the course of our travels we have had cab drivers from all over the world:  Haitiian, Asian, Arabic, French, Spanish, Italian, African, Latino, Canadian, and American.  I pride myself on having an ear for language and my husband and I enjoy getting to know where people were born and listening to their stories.  The hilarious and unexpected part of this trip is that I literally had to translate everything any cabbie ever said to us during our entire week in London.  The irony is they were ALL British; therefore they spoke English.  It was incredibly difficult to discern their various thick cockney accents, particularly when they spoke quickly.  I found it comical that of all the places we had been fortunate enough to travel THIS would be where I would do the most translating.  The cabbies are all Brits because they must pass what may be the most difficult test in the world.  It is called “The Knowledge” and it demands years of study to memorize the labyrinthine city’s 25,000 streets as well as ANY business or landmark — no matter how obscure.  That is incredibly impressive!  Its rigors have been likened to those required to earn a degree in medicine.  Without question, it is a unique intellectual, psychological, and physical ordeal demanding thousands of hours of immersive study.  They must commit to memory the entire city of London and endure a process which takes at least four years to complete; for many it takes much longer.  The German philosopher Immanuel Kant said, “It is beyond a doubt that all our knowledge begins with experience.”  As we took in our first sights of London, our experience was slowly building our knowledge:  of prams and of proud cabbies … and of the knowledge of London.

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My Souvenirs

Time flew by so quickly and it was our last day in Paris.  We took our little one to the same carousel across from the Eiffel Tower that we had ridden on our honeymoon.  It was another full circle moment literally and figuratively.  I vividly remember taking a picture of my new husband of one day and seeing stars as we whirled by Paris in circles.  Now I had my little one bundled up and riding on a horse with me while my handsome husband rode beside us.  They had a photographer stationed there, and every professional photographer knows no mother is going to turn down photos of her child.  When our ride was over she showed us her shots.  The lights twinkled merrily against the early grey day and the music tinkled cheerfully behind us as we looked over the moments she had captured.  Overcome with emotion, I asked Burk if we could get several.  He said sure and I smiled and nodded at the woman, choosing my favorites.  “D’accord” she said as she deftly glued them into a faux gold paper frame.  Oh how thrilled I was to have all of us captured on my favorite carousel!  Then we walked down a short way to take a ride on the Seine.  The tour was different in the light of day and I was able to view angels on bridges, the marks from water levels, and all sorts of other details much clearer.  Although I prefer the romance and hazy glow of an evening ride, I think it was good to have a different perspective.  The English singer and songwriter John Lennon said, “Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear.”  I tried to take in every precious moment in my beloved Paris before we left to travel back under the ocean to see the sights of London.  The word “souvenir” is from the French meaning “to remember.”  Going with me were my treasures:  my loves, my promises, and my souvenirs.

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Her First Steps In Notre Dame

In keeping with the tradition we started on our honeymoon, we headed to the Eiffel Tower first, only this time we we had our beautiful baby doll with us.  It was a cold, windy day, unlike the sultry, warm June night of 2007.  The tallest structure in Paris, it stands at around 81 stories.  We made our way up all three elevators, each with their steeper ascents, to reach the top.  Burk and I decided to have a champagne toast and we bought plastic fluted glasses that lit from the bottom.  Multi-colored lights flashed up through the sparkling wine as it fizzed and tickled my nose.  For me, this was full circle and well worth the symbolic splurge.  I had the true love I had waited so long for and now our miracle child for whom I had so fervently prayed.  In keeping with that knowledge, the next place we revisited on our short weekend was Notre Dame.  The church had been blacked from years of candle soot and incense the last time we visited.  We were shocked to discover the entire interior with its high vaulted ceilings had been scrubbed clean and I thought these ribbons were particularly resplendent in Easter’s wake.  The whiteness of the stone only served to heighten the splendor of the rose windows.  It turns out we were lucky enough to be enjoying the 850th anniversary celebration of the famous French Gothic cathedral dedicated to Our Lady, the mother of our Lord.  As you walk along the church, different naves are dedicated to her and her manifestations to people around the world.  Our child did not walk at a year like others and I was not the least bit concerned;  I waited 41 years to hold my own baby.  I remember she was getting squirmy so I decided to put her down.  To our utter amazement and true delight, our Marian child began walking completely on her own in the church dedicated to the mother of Christ.  She started at the Virgin of Guadalupe and just kept going.  We could not even keep up with her and I found myself whispering “excusez nous” as we weaved in and out of visitors, frantically keeping eyes on our suddenly independent and mobile toddler.  Transcending all the languages I heard being spoken as I passed, people from all over the world smiled kindly and they could see by the glow of pride and astonishment on my face that our little one had literally just started to walk.  My husband and I were beaming.  With sudden clarity I knew this was where she was meant to take her first steps — surrounded by the Ever Blessed Virgin Mother Mary.  The French abbot Saint Bernard of Clairvaux said this:

“In dangers, in doubts, in difficulties, think of Mary, call upon Mary.  Let not her name depart from your lips, never suffer it to leave your heart.  And that you may more surely obtain the assistance of her prayer, neglect not to walk in her footsteps.  With her for guide, you shall never go astray; while invoking her, you shall never lose heart; so long as she is in your mind, you are safe from deception; while she holds your hand, you cannot fall; under her protection you have nothing to fear; if she walks before you, you shall not grow weary; if she shows you favor, you shall reach the goal.”

I have written before of the unexplainable connection; I wanted to honor that when I named the child she had promised me.  And so Maris Grace began her first steps in Notre Dame.

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