In The Eye Of The Beholder

image

It has always irked me that people will walk up to a little girl and tell her how pretty she is.  And, if she’s not, they’ll say her dress is.  But with little boys it’s “You’re so strong!” and almost never about their looks.  Participating in the Miss Texas U.S.A. pageant was certainly an experience.  Having never even watched a pageant prior to being in one I felt hypocritical.  I was baffled that mothers had literally groomed their daughters in the pageant system for their entire lives.  One came with professional stylists and another girl had a set of ribs removed so she could look better in a bikini.  I am not kidding.  The two girls I remember making friends with who were in the pageant with me that year were a barrel racer and a truck driver.  I admired them both and they were genuinely friendly and down to earth.  Frankly, I think they were as lost as I was in the whole thing.  They both came from small Texas towns and if you’ve heard that girls can be mean you have NO IDEA how vicious perceived beauty queens can be.  French author Ninon de l’Enclos once said, “Beauty without grace is a hook without a bait.”  Unfortunately, I saw a lot of ugliness.  At one point in the week we were scheduled to do autograph signings.  I remember this little girl coming up to me with stars in her eyes followed by a mother who REALLY did not want to be there.  She uncomfortably explained they were vacationing in Padre and had no idea all this was going on.  (The pageant took up a large part of the hotel and there were events happening all around between press, dinners, filming, preliminaries, presentations by the mayor, etc.)  I guestimated her little girl to be about eight and asked what her favorite subject was in school.  She looked momentarily surprised but then eagerly told me it was math and we went on to discuss her favorite books.  The last thing I told her was to study and work hard because that was what was most important.  She smiled shyly and said she would as she turned and waved good-bye.  That mother came back to me later and said I was the only one who did not call her daughter pretty — and she thanked me for it.

Facebooktwitterpinterestmail

2 comments on “In The Eye Of The Beholder

  1. This is lovely and I love that picture of you too! As one thing leads to another this blog reminded me of Ann Richards. I watched an interview of her once and she talked so much about how important it was for women to have some independence and not just rely on their looks. She got the picture! I was googling her and found this:

    10. She Left a Lasting Legacy.
    The legacy of the former teacher and governor lives on in the Ann Richards School for Young Women Leaders in Austin, an all-girls’ school for grades 6 through 12. The day after losing her re-election bid, Richards went to a carnival and ended up chatting with kids waiting in the roller coaster line about staying in school and working hard to become something. Marveled Taylor, “Her secretary was standing next to her when she sat down with those kids, and she remarked, ‘Look at that. Ann just can’t stop teaching and encouraging.’”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *