Montezuma’s Revenge

The French artist Paul Gauguin said, “Civilization is what makes you sick.”  Montezuma II was Emperor of Mexico from 1502 to 1520 and in power when the Spanish began their “conquest” of the Aztec Empire.  “Montezuma’s Revenge” (traveler’s diarrhea) is a sickness that is usually caused by drinking the local water or eating foods to which visitors are unaccustomed.  The illness is bacterial and can occasionally be serious; mostly it is caused by E. coli.  On this day we set out for Coba, an ancient Mayan city on the Yucatan Peninsula.  The site is the nexus of the largest network of stone causeways in the ancient Mayan world.  Pictured here is another pyramid on the site only this one had steps that were still intact.  As I understood it, Coba had been covered by jungle and not rediscovered until much later.  The main pyramid is still open for the public to climb and to my surprise I learned it is 40 feet taller than the one I had always heard about in Chichen Itza.  As our guide took us into the dense, humid jungle we passed lizards sunbathing and saw a monkey dozing in a tree.  At last we’d made our way to the pyramid and Burk and I decided we would climb it.  I must confess to having a fear of heights and/or at least vertigo.  There was a single rope running down half of the pyramid, tethered by metal rings that had been drilled into the stone.  If someone wished to use it they must bend over double, as the rope could barely be lifted above the stairs.  Those wanting to climb or descend without any aid were left to pick their way over well worn steps that were nerve-wracking at best.  I found the ascent to be OK.  Burk and I had our picture taken on the very top but it is difficult to tell just how high up it really was.  I am so glad I did it and I had a feeling of elation.  Normally, I would say I am always way cooler than my husband.  But in this instance I have to admit he had me beat.  I watched him walk casually down that pyramid like he was descending steps at the mall.  I, on the other hand, was slightly petrified by the perilously steep steps smoothed by time, traverse, and weather.  Many were going down on their rumps, and I could see why.  After our journey we ate at the local restaurant.  It was no hardship drinking Mexican beer and we had quesadillas with guacamole.  Of course the baby had a bottled water.  Later that evening around midnight I was awakened by my husband hollering, “I’M SICK!”  Immediately popping out of bed, I asked what I could do.  I barely got him to the bathroom before he projectile vomited like a spewing volcano absolutely everywhere.  He was so ill he was lying on the marble floor in a pool of his own vomit, too weak to even get up.  I was terrified and a doctor came first thing the next morning.  He said my husband had gotten so dehydrated that he really should be hospitalized.  However, he gave him several injections and proclaimed we should not eat anything outside our hotel “not cooked by the fire.”  With horror I realized it had to have been the guacamole from the day before.  I’m sure the tomatoes had been washed locally.  The irony is no one else in our family got sick — and we all had eaten the EXACT same thing.  I was so incredibly grateful the baby was OK!  She has a cast iron stomach like her Mama.  Maybe Montezuma also knew we have Choctaw blood and so we escaped his wrath.  My poor husband … he had to stay in bed for the next couple of days and mostly slept.  He had fallen victim to Montezuma’s Revenge.

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