I spent most of my life living in one small apartment but I carry very happy memories of running wild through a huge field, riding my Big Wheel everywhere, and playing on the two playgrounds in our complex.  I always dreamt though of not having solid white walls, of wanting a kitchen window, a fireplace, “fancy” sinks, ceiling fans and stairs.  And I wanted the house to be on a creek.  Imagine my shock when I had just gotten engaged and the five bedroom, three bathroom, two-story house I had loved went up for sale unexpectedly — across from a big creek on a corner filled with trees.  Three of the bedrooms and two of the bathrooms are upstairs.  There is a white rock rustic fireplace (Austin stone if you want to be pretentious), and three huge skylights I adore plus one in our bathroom.  Our home sits perched atop a pretty decent hill given how flat Dallas is.  I have the biggest kitchen window you have ever seen and it slides open so I can hear the rushing of the waterfalls from the koi pond we had built right outside.  Our child’s room looks like she lives in the woods.  Her cottage bed embodies much of what I had always longed for.  We have a two car garage that goes right into the kitchen.  I can plant; I can paint and I can remodel if I want!  All of which I have done.  We now have the prettiest screened in porch that over looks the creek and beautiful flagstone in the front with a wrought iron swing.  Our house is not huge; nor does it need to be.  How much does one need??  It’s stuff and things.  I recently explained to my little girl what an apartment was.  It was bittersweet describing something so foreign to her that had essentially been part of my entire life.  The great thing about growing up poor is that I refuse to fall into the Dallas superficial “better than” trap.  I have some really nice things but they do not define me.  Nor will my child be defined by what she has or by what her friends have or do not have.  I want to instill a strong sense of charity in her and awareness of a whole other world that lives right around her.  I love that my husband stays above the fray in the whole “what do you do” (translation:  how much money do you make) game.  I remember when I was in the Miss Texas U.S.A. pageant our director said the only person we were in competition with was ourselves.  Being HIGHLY competitive naturally and carrying a healthy chip on my shoulder from a lifetime of being dubbed “less than” for our financial circumstances, I thought he was really wrong.  Now I realize how right he was.  I am in a competition with myself each day to be a better person than I was the day before:  better for the Lord, better for myself, better for my husband, better for our daughter, and to be better to others.  That is all.

“Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation. ~ Author Brian Tracy