A Thoroughly Passed Out Kiddo

In summers when I was a kid my father went to work and my mother used to tell me not to come home until the lights came on.  I ran wild with total freedom and yet safety.  I played tetherball, I scaled the monkey bars, I rode my Big Wheel absolutely EVERYWHERE, I climbed our apartments’ fence and walked along the top of its six foot length like a squirrel.  We lived across the street from a giant field of wildflowers and I would pick some for dinner every night, leaving tons to spare.  I played in trees and I caught cicadas (and let them go.)  We made mud pies, and played “hot lava.”  Looking back I was a real tomboy and I was the only girl in our rough and tumble pack.  But it was OK.  Summers smelled of freshly mown grass and were full of endless possibility.  I grew up so much on my own then, being allowed to roam freely.  Dear God my parents didn’t always know where I was AND I was left in the car (willingly) while they went in the grocery store!  They just rolled down the windows and I played with my toys.  If my child did practically any of the things I have mentioned fondly they would surely call Child Protective Services.  That is sad in many ways.  I developed a sense of independence and confidence in those “alone” times.  Now helicopter parents are everywhere and, if they aren’t, they often get reported.  I suppose I was lucky in that nothing bad ever happened to me.  I have since learned to question everyone — from the ice cream man (if he even still comes around) to people working in our home — with a suspicious eye.  I had a friend who was an attorney tell me the most dangerous place for young boys to be was at the bathroom in the mall — with their mothers right outside the door.  Times are simply not what they used to be.  Hence, I suppose, the advent of “play dates.”  Kids can no longer play freely so dates have to be scheduled.  Rather than use this as free babysitting time, Burk and I have always viewed it as a family time with another family.  So the kids can watch a movie in the other room while the adults talk.  In that respect, we don’t mind play dates.  In fact, we actually look forward to them.  We know the kids are safe and we get some time to speak with grown-ups.  I came in from our porch and snapped this sweet pic of our little one and her oldest friend sitting on the floor, eating berries, and giggling.  I remember all too well what it was like to escape the yolk of parental tyranny.  So I pretended not to notice them as I got all of us parents another drink.  Nia Vardalos, the Canadian-American actor of Greek descent, most notable for her Academy Award-nominated film My Big Fat Greek Wedding, said:

“My favorite part of any playdate comes later when I get to carry my exhausted and sleeping daughter to the car.  Is there anything more trusting than a sleeping child completely and utterly leaning into your body?”

That IS one of the best parts of a play date — a thoroughly passed out kiddo.

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